Continuing with our series on all things relationships from the Word of God, today we will look at an example of God bringing a couple together for holy matrimony, because He is invested in who we join in covenant with and we need to allow Him into this area of our lives so His perfect will comes to pass. Reading from Genesis 24, we see that before He passed from this life, Abraham called his servant and tasked him with finding a wife for Isaac, the son of the promise. He said to his servant, “Please, put your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell; but you shall go to my country and to my family, and take a wife for my son Isaac” (Genesis 24:2b-4). Abraham made it clear that the wife was to be chosen from a specific lineage, because he did not want his son to enter into marriage with a nation that did not have a covenant with the Lord; but today believers think they can just marry whoever they like, when they like! No! It matters who you join yourself with, in this instance, had Isaac married the daughters of the Canaanites, the Israelites would have been compromised 400 years later when it was time for them to take ownership of that land because they would have had to fight and displace their own brothers. This is the wisdom of God, you may not see the immediate consequences of the choices you make, but anything done outside of the will of God will bear poisonous fruit in the future. Abraham prescribed the kind of wife he wanted for his son to his servant, completely excluding Isaac from the conversation – this is important to note because oftentimes, when the prospective couple is in the mix, emotions cloud judgement and once that fire sparks, it is hard to put off. So Abraham had a sober discussion with his servant, even cautioning him against bringing Isaac on the mission (v.6) because He wanted this union to be orchestrated by God without the emotional manipulation of men. It is also important to know that even though God may want people to marry, no one is forced to go through with it against their will. Abraham made room for such an outcome, saying,, “And if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be released from this oath; only do not take my son back there” (v.8).
Abraham told his servant, “He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there” (v.7) – introducing to us the workings of the ministry of angels; who are ministering spirits that serve the heirs of salvation to ensure the fulfilment of God’s word over our lives. They protect us, they trigger and manipulate physical events for our benefit and according to the counsel of God the Father. This is how we find ourselves at the right place and at the right time, how we are absolved from accidents, how we meet people who change the course of our lives in an instance– these things are no coincidence, it is the work of angels! Angels work by consciousness, we have to acknowledge their presence and their operation, this is what apostle Paul said, that “the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus” (Philemon 1:6). But if we are not conscious of them, we will hardly see their full operation in our life. So Abraham, being aware that he walks and has angels at his disposal, evoked the ministry of angels to accomplish the finding of his son’s wife – and we too have the same benefit!
So the servant went on his way with ten camels. When he arrived in the country, he went to a common place where natives frequent, a well, looking to see whom he might run into. He knew women come to that place to draw water, already displaying the kind of profile he was looking for: an industrious woman who was faithful in her ways and activities, narrowing the scope to remove idle persons who had no responsibilities they were committed to. The servant prayed, “O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham. Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’—let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master” (Genesis 24: 12-14). Important to note, none of the criteria that the servant set for the intended bride was physical, all were related to the inner man of her heart – because that is the one that Isaac will deal with in the course of the marriage. Beauty is good but beauty cannot sustain a home, eventually it wears out in the eyes of the beholder and the quality of the marriage begins to rest on the characters of the persons involved. So when the servant had prayed, he then proceeded to position himself to be within the right peripherals for an answer from the Lord. This is what faith does, it does not try too hard to make things happen, faith rests in the grace and assurance of God’s faithfulness and only moves in response to the leading of the Lord towards fulfilment. Before he had even finished speaking, Rebekah came out with her pitcher on her shoulder, very beautiful to behold. The servant approached Rebekah as he had planned in his prayer to the Lord, and she met each requirement with commendable humility and kindness. She was immediately welcoming, hospitable, charitable and kind to the servant, and even invited him to find lodging with her family.
Later that night, after supper, the servant made plain his mission to Rebekah’s family, saying, “I am Abraham’s servant. The Lord has blessed my master greatly, and he has become great; and He has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, male and female servants, and camels and donkeys… Now my master made me swear, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell; but you shall go to my father’s house and to my family, and take a wife for my son.” (v.34-38). He proceeded to detail his prayer to the Lord, and how Rebekah had met his criteria with kindness. Rebekah’s family agreed that this was the work of the Lord, although Laban, her brother, attempted to delay her journeying back with him for 10 more days. The servant pushed back, showing urgency, and the family proceeded to ask Rebekah for her contribution. She responded, “I will go” (v.57b). The family then blessed her (v.59) and released her on her way. When she had arrived back in Canaan to meet Isaac for the first time, we read that, “Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her” (v.67). We see that the emotions of both Rebekah and Isaac came into play after the transaction had already been completed. Isaac made the decision to love Rebekah as his wife, showing us that love is not an emotion, but a choice. You love the one you marry, because when you make the decision to love, emotions follow afterwards. We are meant to lead by decision, then emotions follow – we are not meant to be led by emotions. This is the truth of the scriptures!
Prayer
Father, we thank you for your eternal wisdom and intentionality, for caring about every area of our lives and for laying the foundation for us to follow when the time comes for such critical decisions. We thank you for the Holy Spirit, who guides us into all truth and who reminds us of all You have taught us. May these words bear fruit in our marriages and those of all generations to follow us. In the name of Jesus. Amen!
