As we continue our quest to understand the mind/view of God concerning marriage, it is key for us to understand the foundational roles of the man and woman in the relationship. In order to grasp this plainly, we consider first how the woman came to be.

Genesis 2 narrates this for us, saying, “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man” (vs.21-22). We see here that the woman was made entirely from the man’s rib and flesh, clearly showing us that the woman is not simply an extension of the man, but she is a part of him. This is confirmed by the statement Adam then made by revelation when he awoke from the deep sleep, saying “this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (vs.23).

Reading on, we see the writer introducing the notion of a man leaving his father and mother to be joined to his wife so that they become one flesh (vs.24). This is to highlight the commitment one must make when getting into marriage, knowing that the two come together and are united to pursue purpose; this is how God views us when we are in marriage, as one flesh. Genesis 5 reiterates the same view, saying, “Male and female created He them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam [Mankind], in the day when they were created” (vs.2).

Having established that unity and pursuit of purpose was the main idea behind the institution of marriage by God, it is then easy to see why the enemy fights this institution quite aggressively. We also acknowledge that marriage is a commitment from the two parties involved who must attribute the appropriate value to their matrimonial joining – this determines the lengths they are willing to go to protect it, each one playing their part. Keeping this in mind, we examine Scripture to discover the main roles that the man and woman play in this relationship.

Speaking of the responsibility of the man in the family structure, apostle Paul wrote: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8), emphasizing that it is part of a man’s responsibility to provide for his family. Furthermore, the apostle admonishes husbands to be loving and understanding of their wives, saying: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us a description of what love is and isn’t: “love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”.

Part of the effort on the side of the husband is to ensure a successful and united partnership is striving to show love and understanding to their wives, giving honor to them as the weaker vessel, knowing that the two are heirs together of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7)

By the same token, wives are not exempt from playing their part in ensuring a successful marriage founded on unity. They too, ought to do what they can to provide for their families (1 Timothy 5:8) and speaking more specifically, the apostle Paul wrote: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

The term ‘submit’ in this context refers to honor, reverence, respect, obedience, and being subject to the leading, authority, and anointing of the man in all things good and godly. So whilst the apostle’s directive here suggests that the woman is not naturally inclined to submit to her own husband, she must make this commitment to submit in love with the help of the Holy Spirit so that the two remain united in marriage unto the glory of God. Apostle Paul continues to show wives how to carry themselves in marriage, urging them to honor their husbands, trusting that they lead and care for them with godly wisdom.

He wrote, saying: “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:23-24). Turning our attention to 1 Peter 3, we note that the apostle echoes the same sentiments regarding the conduct of wives towards their husbands, saying: “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands” (vs.5), where the submission comes not from fear but is done with trust, love, and adoration (vs.6). This is God’s idea and expectation, and as He is the one who instituted this constitution, we can be absolutely certain He knows how best it will function! Let us work to align ourselves to the right manual.

Prayer

Lord, we thank You for Your Word which is wisdom unto us. The Word is for our benefit, even as it relates to marriage.

We choose to take the Word in its entirety, so that we are balanced in our dealings, and will be found lacking nothing. We pray for all marriages in our church family and individual spaces, both existing and still coming, may they be fashioned according to Your pattern. May the Holy Spirit work in all individuals to express the character of Christ through the union, and may purpose be fulfilled! In Jesus’ name, amen!