When dealing with any aspect of life, it is important for us to look into the Word of God so we know the Lord’s mind relating to that specific area. The issue of relationships is no different.
The idea of relationships and marriage was first instituted in Genesis when the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). When we closely examine this Scripture, we notice that the text speaks about the man being alone – not lonely, showing us that there is a clear distinction between these two states of being. God, when he saw this, then introduces the idea of making a suitable helper for the man, Adam.
Remember, church, that a God-given assignment was already in place for Adam at this point: that is to dress, tend, to, and keep the garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15). For this reason, God saw it good and fitting that Adam have a suitable helper and partner that would help him carry out the vision God had given him. This was all instituted before the fall, making it a part of God’s perfect design – it was no secondary plan of circumvention, God willed it from the very beginning!
What does this tell us, then – that before man gives himself up to marriage, he needs to have a relationship with God who ordained the institution. Regarding the importance of having a relationship with God, apostle Paul echoes the same sentiments when writing to the church in Corinth, saying: “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39).
It is also key that the man have the ability to hear God’s voice, and be in pursuit of his vision/purpose. It is therefore vital that we grasp the main objective for marriage as it is plainly set out in the Word. It is not about soliciting joy from our partners (because the Lord is the source of our joy), but so we can work together towards fulfilling our calling – happiness is simply a by-product of the relationship.
Another vital aspect of marriage is the subject of oneness between the two. We understand from Genesis 1:27-28 that when God created man, He blessed them and gave them a directive to be fruitful and to multiply. However, Psalm 133 highlights the importance of unity even in carrying out this instruction in holy matrimony, saying: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” (vs.1).
Reading on, we see this unity likened to “the precious oil upon the head, running down on the beard, the beard of Aaron, running down on the edge of his garments” (vs.2); this precious ointment refers to the anointing to execute the purpose because we are only anointed (empowered) TO DO (Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:18).
Ecclesiastes 4 further builds on the correct understanding of marriage, that it is meant for the two to carry God’s vision together in unity, saying, “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor” (vs.9). The use of the term labor further highlights that in marriage, there is an assignment to fulfill, a work to be done. Not only that, but if either of the two falls down, one can help the other up (vs.10); though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves (vs.12).
As we read on, we also note the importance of unity between the man, the woman, and God in marriage: “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (vs.12). So church, it is important that God is the foundation of our relationships, and that we are not only one with each other, but remain in partnership with Him as we pursue what He has purposed for us.
Prayer
Lord, I thank You for loving me and being the source of my joy. Thank You for the wisdom of Your Word as it relates to relationships, and for guiding me in my decision-making. I choose to depend on You as I carry out my purpose! I am fulfilled through my relationship with You! In Jesus’ name, Amen!
